2nd attempt

urgh.. (sigh...) this is attempt 2 to install mobiwan in my network simulator 2
. after 24 hours , ive found the mobiwan patches for ns 2.33 . but 1 question came up, how could i make it work? how am i going to install this thing to my ns2? what should i do with this thing???? STILL i could not answer those question, i`m exhousted now .. there were many options .. all i need is just to pick one way the easiest way.. but i could not undertand any.. there were nothing and now i m stuck. the latest mobiwan in internet was in 2003. it was MORE THEN 5 Years back.. and we're in 2008 to be 2009 now .. sigh.... why everyone so not interested with MOBIWAN? is it because of its name or What???

i`m exhausted.. .. i need help...

now i`m going to close my laptop and take a rest..

erkkk~ erkkk~ i was so full and a bit bloated after all the super duper delicious dinner i had last night in T.G.I. haha .. we celebrated the three princess's birthday Shique, Bom and fana and had tremendously fun all together!!!!!. ohh my god i`ve just fart and i can smell the sweet aroma from my belly.. so stink!!! (hehehe.. shhhhhhttt... keep it ur self..). N way let me just show our picture. camera really love us. we just cant stop ;)

HOme SwEEt HoME

congratulations hani!!! u're free to go now.. good bye.. see u again in a month. dat what am thinking as soon as i crossed the main gate of uniten. i feels relief. no more assignments, no more test, no more quiz, which mean no more pressure and no more tension after all. am happy and couldn`t stop grinning " macam kerang Busuk ". i can hear the rhythm in my head .. very soft rhythm singging to me all the way back to my house. i`m gettin excited.

"Big wheels keep on turning

Carry me home to see my kin

Singing songs about the south-land

I miss 'my home' once again"

and now i`m home. Home SwEEt Home.. i woke up in the morning and the aroma of mum's cook give me the hunger pangs which i always miss. btw, my mum is not really good in cook as she has no much time at home. as what i can remember, our menu is almost the same everyday since both of my little brothers are the most choosey and fussy in foods more than anyone in this world. CUrRy ayam , CurrY iKan, Curry DAGING and all types of currys are most favourable for them. never eat fish except for curry, never eat vege, never eat seafoods, but they love sushi very much and KFC for sure! and sometimes we have masak lemak, tomyam ayam, papprik and soup thats all. I still remember when my brother was a little kid around age 3-4. He call the restaurant as "rumah org" so, every morning he will ask my father to bring him breakfast at "Rumah org".
normally he'll say "baba, nak makan roti canai kat rumah org?" haha.. its funny. And one more thing about him, he loves to play with cam very much!!

i really have no idea what he trying to do or trying to be, but its always make me big lough. i think he is kind of creative person. and have creative mind of thinking. He always make us lough at loud. and both of them always be the happiness in my family.

sometimes he did stupid little things whatever he could to take it as a joke

the funny faces

during hari raya in kampung

the side view of my little brother

blissfull

its holiday special

i keep grinning my self when everytime i saw my new BirDy Little Blog which are so So SO.. SUPER cute ! haha~ Very SpecIAL ThANKS TOO mY hoUSEMATE sUE, for her contributionS AND efforts to MY Blog. She's so so so great in designing and so what ever with HTML code which i have none, the HTML cOde is just merely on her finger tip and everything she did for me while i was just looking at her, impressing, i guess this is something new for me to explore and and this going to be some kind of much fun for a month break !! now, i`ve start to miss my friends already, Sara, sheilalala~, boom, alin, sharina, dilla, sue, dilla, elya, and alll of them. dilla is already on her way back to TeRengaaGANU, sara will going back home in perak soon after finishing our Vlsi Report while Sheila keep loyal with her FYP and her supervisor. The rest.. still struggling to pack their stuffs. and finally we all going back to home and having great time with family..by the way i already have a to do list starting from tomorrow.. always been thinking for unnecessary things that make my life miserable. happy holiday to all!!!!



to do list

1. C proggramming (FYP forever)
   
2. Otcl language (its all about FYP)
   
3. taking my little brother to sport team park
   
4. applying for Industrial training
5. house keeping for sure!
   

tido la tido

penatnya hari nie.. esuk pagi kul 9-00 ad satu paper . hopefully everything will be fine.. risau gak kalau tiba2 blank esuk ape la gaknya aku nak bantai nanti. haha~ telur ayam jer la.. dah la nak goreng pun tak reti.. haih... sedih jer bunyi.. sekarang baru nak masuk solat isyak tepat kul 8.00 mlm tapi mata dah separuh mcm penyu. org ckap ape pun dah tak dgr .. satu je yang aku nampak sekarang bantal dan tilam best nya tido~~ alangkah indahnya dunia hanya aku bantal dan tilam. dunia kami bagaikan yang tak berpenghujung .. oh tilam.. oh bantal.. eh lupa pulak selimut!!! kesian kat dia haha~ well ...dah sampai masenye kita berjuang dlm mimpi =P nite~~

my super ex hero

(sigh...) even dah masuk 3 thn still could not get over him.. nie la masalah yang selalu dihadapi kaum hawa and i beleive that i`m not the only one who has this kind of feeling .. alott more of people outside there having the same prob with me .. be strong !!! dont ever u loose faith.. the monotony of love make u really sick of it.. the pain was almost more than u could bear.. but, in these new century and new generation of peoples.. we have to move forward and always moving forward bcoz once we fall down its difficult to heals the wound.


walau apapun... kamu sentiasa di ingatan.. saya pasti mendoakan kamu.. semoga kamu bahagia

looking for lucky star

weee hoooo.. taking up my self above the sky~ singing to my heart as no one can hear nothing.. i feel free.. 2 papers down and 2 more left.. hopefully i could improve my results this year.. as i'm walking ahead to MPH .. i heard my heart beat so much, beating faster and faster, its always happening. i try to control by walking slowly.. deep breath for few times.. recite the prayer .. trying to adapt with the so called exam environment.. then when my finger just start to dance on the paper.. suddenly! poop! all black! oh my God, oh God all blank! i`m panic and nervous what i do?? out of 100% , just 50% memory left in my brain. the rest 50% have totally gone~~ gosh! this is really bad!!. haha~ pity me... clumsy me... this happen almost everytime in the final exam~ i could not get over the neverousness in my self. hate it!! but now, i did it!!! i manage to control my self better than anyone does.. some improvement of my self.. i would say that i`m alil bit proud~. VLSI vs POWER E. the next paper need to be focus on. there's alott of work to finish more "Ya Allah, berikanlah aku ketenangan untuk menjawab peperiksaan dgn cemerlang, berikanlah aku kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat dan berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menempuh segala dugaanMu," amin.. i`m still lookin for a lucky star... if anyone have.. pls =P

hingga ke hujung dunia

Looking at those 2 pics above make me wonder how beautifull my life is, the smiling faces throw away all the nightmares i had.. no one could imagine what ive been through in my childhood and even me always feels scared to talk about it till now, there is so much thing in my head till i could not breath, sometimes i feels that i`m a psycho person, i pretend not to be but that's is something is wrong somewhere..

ive been crying for 22 years .. my broken family, loosing my brother, my personal life, everything.. messed up, bored !! lost my self in the middle of the sea where no one could reach me. i wish i could get back my self to see the smiling faces from the deep heart. sometimes life is so meaningless.. sometimes life coloured the way of someones life.. sometimes life is just nothing.

Hari raya 2008- give me thoughts that i have to take back pieces of memory i've left long time before.. my dad.. i dont noe how i did it.. but for the first time in life i'm hugging my dad with full of love and crying.. and for the first time i`m calling him 'abah' still crying.. I never know my father .. never i know how its feels to have a father.. when i saw someone talking with his father i wonder my self about dad.. its really hard to forgive him after all.. and this year, is the most memorable moment in my life.. i will remember this till the end.. and as for him, i have back all the pieces of memory that i've left long time before..

sTiNgY

OMG!!! why this thing are really hard to deal with. i have lost my patience right now!!! could not stand anymore.. i`ve been tried to install this so called 'XaNDRoSS ' and 'Ns2' thing for thousand times but why still could not work?? agaGAGAGgaga... i curse u to be a frog 'com -com' then only u will know how powerfull am i.. hehe..by all means!

one year has gone

i thought it was almost 1 year since i wrote my last blog. hee.. very pemalas one to write anything.. actually there`s nothing to talk about since everything seems fine.. from its cover. Last week , i bought new good brand com-com its not too expensive nor very canggih one but meet my satisfaction with LARGE screen and comes with ORIGINAL windows based, very solid with SILVER drees, 1G high and 162 weight . beautifull interface and webcam provided. isn`t it worth with just 2k? yes =) . computers are now getting cheaper and cheaper over the time.. i stiill remember how expensive was the price fo a single laptop in 5 years back, it cost me almost 4k. urghhhhh~ damn it. no more talk

recently, i found someone`s blog, very interesting to read and awsome. i should not mention his name but he has really great voice. He talks about politic, retaurant , foods, sports and everything that he likes but the way he express is kind of different. simple cool and COOOLLL ~~ huhu.. i also fall in love with one of my freinds blog (sara its u) always make me lough everytime and she love to talk and talk and never lack of ideas. i just could know her better through her blogg sometimes. lalala time is running~ need to stop.

jika dan hanya jika

jika dan hanya jika aku telah ketemu..
aku pasti bahagia..

jika dan hanya jika aku sempat berdiri sebelum aku terjatuh..
aku pasti gembira..

jika dan hanya jika aku dewasa sebelum aku kecil
tiada siapa yang akan terluka..

jika dan hanya jika aku mampu merubah
ku kan sentiasa tersenyum.

jika dan hanya jika hanyalah dalam bisikan hatiku. kerna aku hanya mampu berbisik tidak mampu untuk meluah.

inspired by.. hehe

"words" does not suits me

since i kid untill now.. i always heard people said that we have to beleive in Allah, do we really understand how? how is the correct way to show that i`m beleiver? how ? is it by praying? is it in the heart? yes it is but how?? why i dont know the answer? why the question keep coming to my head? if i`m the truth beleiver i`m sure i will know the answer but its not there.. just empty.. even i pray, even i recites the holy Quran, even my parent gave me strong basic religion, but still something is missing in the heart. i know that. and today, after been waiting for so long.. i got the answer finally, i start to understand everything.. everything that happened in my life.. the hard life i had.. its all looks clear in front of me. "beleive in Allah" i know the truth meaning behind of this short phrase now. Beleive that everything is all by Allah.. and i`ll not afraid to anything except Allah.Its not just words for me anymore it brings so much meaning . Either we realy understand or not, thats matter for me. I wanna feel so happy inside, walk freely and smile from my heart. Not just pretending. Thats what i really want in life.. i have opened my heart and accept everything that come to my life.

i`m truely free

hijab

why hijab?

why i need hijab?

to preserve

my dignity, modesty, integrity. I WEAR IT SO PROUDLY!

manusia bodo aka "lelaki itu"

damn u man~

gelaran yang paling tepat buat "lelaki itu"

kebenarannya luka ku masih di situ di bawah permukaan

tetapi aku bijak dalam menyembunyikannya

memori hanya membawa aku hidup dalam kebencian





haruskah aku??







patutkah aku??






itu bukanlah jalan hidup yang ku pilih.

kerana aku tau kebencian hanya akan membawa manusia kepada kemusnahan

Allah tidak suka umatnya membenci sesama mahluk

apatah lagi memutuskan persaudaraan

seluruh umat islam adalah saudaraku

siapalah aku untuk menghukum

astagfirullahalazim..

Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.

the people under my judgement

i was really bored.. i got nothing to do today.. i just wanted to get my mind free and the only thing i could do is talking with someone.. so... that was my interest for the time being. talk talk and talk even i don't know what am i talking about but, i just do it becoz sometimes thing happen without any reasons.. it just happen and after it happened, then only people will start to think the reason behind of it.. i have no life before, i had no topic to talk, no interest with ANYTHING, in short, I'm bored person.. thats the fact yes !proud of it.

By the way i've met a few type of people. I have categorized them to some group

1. They will be a good listener but very poor to express them self
2. some one that has a 'king' in their life and born to be so lucky yet they still not happy.. with the "big fat" crap things
3. Very strong person inside and outside of personality
4. the person who afraid to face the fact that life would never be always"success", but they have no problems at all, even they still can enjoy their life as life goes on.

My first Words

hi.. my fingers start playing with the keyboard gently and.. this is the first word i got in my mind hehe.. i wish i could have my own little world and there! i got it finally.. this new blog where ican express my thoughts and having little dicussion with my self.. sounds scary isn't it? by the way, i`m not a phsycic thats for sure! starting my day chatting with my best friend used -to- be, was really exciting me.. the sadness will always remain in the heart and keep it by my self .. as my life story always start with saddness, it becomes part of me unseparated and soon turn to be a syndrome. not down syndrome but i called it by name "thesaddersyndom"( kah kah kah.. got it from a tv show). Im so blissfull, after years .. my whole life getting better as me grows up. I was woke up from my beautifull dream, where i found me my self standing in the center of million people , and everyone of them looking at me with wholehearted smiling face. Just imagine how i feel.. talking about dream.. too much words to say .. if a picture can show my brain cells fighting each other to vomit out from my head.. its worth more than thousand words. (sigh...)