Little Voices

bosannn

2010-02-06T18:14:00.003+08:00

in the deep of silence .. walk passed by the pasar street while taking a deep breath.. i tried to write something in here to full fill me. just few days back, i got a message from my long lost friend.. she invited me for her wedding tomorrow and still i havent decide to attend the wedding.. there are much thing that i concern about and hesitate me, and by the way, i shud be with my friends right now for coffee and movie but i didnt make it. A dramatic change in phase of my life make me tired and bored.. ahhh.. life is stinks!

2009-08-08T18:05:00.008+08:00

Pegawai Tadbir dan Diplomatik

Fuhhh penat.. at last i did it! i berjaya melepasi test2 yang sgt la memenatkan.. seperti yang semua sedia maklum, 8/8/09 adalah hari keramat untuk semua warga malaysia yang mengambil peperiksaan memasuki perkhidmatan pegawai tadbir dan diplomatik Gred M41 okkey?? its a big number and bcoz of the big number the test was also need ur big attention and focus. Maybe for the first time candidate like me, lots of suprise u`ll have.

i was just on time during the first test start.. it was Seksyen A pengetahuan am mengenai Malaysia dan alam sekeliling. It contains 60 questions and need to answer in one hour.. as soon as the test have started, everybody keep silent.. slowly, i turned to the first page and read the question. ( ahh! senang je tak study pun boleh buat neh!) in not just 1 minute. i've completed the first five question with big grinned, then i turned to the next page and somehow i could not answer one of the question and again i turned to the next page and suddenly the stupid words just smoothly came out from my mouth with a little shout like the room is mine. This is hard man!

Apakah instrument yang paling penting dalam Muzik Mak Yong?
a) rebana
b) XXXX
c) Cak Lempong
d) Can't remember
e) also Cant remember

What the heck? even Makyong also i ever heard.. who is she and which state play this music ohh gosh! i`m dead!

Apakah tugas pemegang Cap Mohor diRAJA?
i) mengisyhtiharkan tarikh berpuasa
ii)ssssssssssss
iii) Memanggil majlis raja-raja untuk bermesyuarat
iv) xxxxxx

i swear to God, i never knew exactly the Sultan, Raja-raja thingy and their jOb or their responsibilities. Somehow i just tembak2 and decided to choose (i) and (iii) as the answer. Hopefully my instinct is correct. i could say that only 20% out of 100% my answers are correct and the rest like buntot ayam! finished with section A.

Then come to section B where this is the most interesting part of my story.

Section B is Daya Menyelesaikan masalah and divided into three which are Kemahiran Logik, Kemahiran Menginterpretasi Data and Konsep Matematik. This section contains of 40 questions which need to answer in 45 minutes.

This part supposed to be the easiest part out of 5 sections. Just a simple mathematical concepts form five standard which need to apply some logical thinking with interpretation, But somehow it turns to be upside down. Calculator are not allowed (zaman dah moden la.. makcik!! grr..) and the questions were super duper long!! let me just give an example of the question

Pada tahun 1991 umur adam adalah dua kali umur aishah dan umur raju 25 thn lebih muda daripada adam. pada tahun 2001 umur Mr X adalah separuh daripada umur aisyah. pada tahun 2007 Mr X berumur 21 tahun. berapakah umur Raju ketika Mr X dilahirkan?

Adoiiii~( sambil tepuk dahi) pening kepala aku nak jawab bukannya satu je soklan mcmnie.. banyak dan banyak okkey?? dah la calculator tak leh pki aku yang agak slow neh bertambah menjadi slow.. GrrrR! mak tolong..

and finally i end up with tembak - tembak but this time was really tembak- tembak without read the question. Put A, B, C, D, E what ever i want.. i only did 20 out of 40 (sad..)

The third Section, Section C is Pengertian dan Kefahaman terhadap esei- esei.. It merely same as the normal comprehensive question during secondary school. 10 question in Bahasa and 10 Question in English. Total = 20. and Section D and E is writing an essay in Bahasa and English 300-500 words.

Though the test was tiring and confusing it was a great experience i had and to those who plan to take this so called PTD test next year, These are my advise to u:

1) Make Sure one week before the test u must sleep with Pengajian Malaysia notes and read the notes thoroughly until u know well about the judiciary system and the scope of sultan, prime minister, dewan undangan negara, dewan undangan negeri, parliament and little about dasar ekonomi negeri/negara, dasar- dasar kerajaan and not to forget Mak yong instruments.

2) know how to calculate the interest of car houses or so what ever..

3) Practice your skill to answer the long- long mathematical questions without using calculator in less than 2 minutes or exactly in 1.125 minutes. ( 45min divided to 40 question)..

So above all are the only tips i have with me. Further tips pls log in to www.spa.gov.my ;) toodles (learnt from maisarah)

2009-08-02T23:32:00.006+08:00

Excitement of Ramadhan al Mubarak

Its Ramadhan again.., all the Muslims will celebrate the ramadhan moon within just few weeks, the happiest and full of disillusionment month. i really hope this coming ramadhan will bring me to the bright side and make me a better person. i pray Allah S.W.T will forgive all of my sins and accept my repentance. Anyway.. I just want to share some quick preparation for Ramadhan where i got it from Fathi Thahire one of our Sisters.

A Quick preparation for Ramadhan
1.. Start reading Quran daily after Salat al-Fajr.
2.. Spend some time listening to recitations from the Quran.
3.. Train yourself to go bed early so that you can wake up far Salat al-Fajr.
4.. Keep yourself in a state of Wudu (Ablution) most of the time. ...
5.. Evaluate yourself daily before going bed.
6.. Thank Allah for good deeds, and repent to Him for your mistakes and sins.
7.. Start giving Sadaqah (donate) daily , no matter how little. Make it a habit like eating and drinking.
8.. Find time to pray extras, such as Tahajjud prayers .
9.. Spend more time reading Islamic books, especially the Quran, Hadith, and Fiqh.
10. Find time to help others with your wisdom, knowledge and other talents.
11. Try to write articles on Islam for Muslims as well as for non-Muslims.
12. Associate with Muslim scholars / ulama and other pious people so that you may learn from them.
13. Train yourself to do good, render free service to others to seek the pleasure of Allah.

What to avoid
1.. Avoid/reduce watching TV ; instead spend more time reading the Quran and other Islamic literature.
2.. Avoid looking at unlawful pictures, whether magazines, department store catalogs or otherwise.
3.. Spend free time in Masajid , Islamic organizations and make that a daily habit. ... Read More
4 . If you smoke , try to reduce daily usage; otherwise Ramadan will be very difficult for you to observe.
5 . If you have friends who do not practice the teaching of Islam, try to avoid socializing with them.
6 . If you travel a lot on business, try to do more local business, so you can be more closer to your family and community.
7 . If you are used to staying up till midnight, try to go to bed earlier, so that you will be able to wake up early for Salat al-Fajr
and Tahajjud prayers as well.

To prepare ourselves before the month of Ramadan arrives is far better than waiting till it comes. To prepare ourselves for anything in life is a sign of wisdom and maturity. No one is assured of living one day more; tomorrow may not come. So hurry and benefit from blessings
and rewards from Allah.

Remember: " Time is not money or gold; it is life itself and is limited . You must begin to appreciate every moment of your life and always
strive to make the best use of it."

A Quick Checklist
1.. Make a resolve to win the maximum favor of Allah by performing extra Voluntary prayers (Nawaafil), making frequent Dua and increased remembrance (Dhikr).
2.. Try to recite some Holy Quran after every Prayer. In fact if you read 3-4 pages after every Prayer you can easily finish the entire Quran in Ramadan!
3.. Study the Tafseer ( commentary) every morning.
4.. Invite a person you are not very close with or your relatives to your home for Iftaar, at least once a week (Weekend). You will notice the blessings in your relationships!
5.. Bring life to your family! Everyday, try to conclude the fast with your family and spend some quality time together to understand each other better.
6.. Give gifts on Eid to at least 5 people: 2 to your family members, 2 to your good friends, and 1 to a person whom you love purely for the sake of Allah.
7.. Make commitment to join Islamic study circles to learn more about Islam and improve your own life.
8.. Donate generously to the Masajid, Islamic organizations , and any where people are in need or oppressed. "Because Ramadan, is a month of sharing!"
9.. Share month of Ramadan and its teachings of peace and patience with your neighbors.
10. Sleep little, eat little! Make sure you do not defeat the purpose of fasting by over-indulging in food and being lazy
11. Seek the rare and oft-neglected rewards of the night better than 1000 months (Laylatul-Qadr / Shab-e-Qadr ).
12. Weep in private for the forgiveness of your sins: Ramadan is the month of forgiveness and Allah's Mercy! It's never too late.
13. Learn to control your tongue and lower your gaze. Remember the Prophet's (pbuh) warning that ... Read Morelying, backbiting, and a lustful gaze all violate the Ramadan fast!
14. Encourage others to enjoin and love goodness, and to abandon everything that Allah dislikes. Play the role of a Da'ee (one who invites to Allah) with zeal, passion, and sympathy.
15. Experience the joy of Tahajjud prayers late at night and devote yourself purely and fully to Allah in the Itikaf retreat during the last 10 days of Ramadan

Enjoy the cute song by Yusof Islam 'Ramadhan Moon'

2009-08-01T23:56:00.007+08:00

The day I spent my life

since last 2 weeks i`ve been trying to be a good daughter to my mum, trying to sit at home quietly without going anywhere.. trying to do house keeping and concentrate and trying to not to sleep after subuh praying and guess what its only last for few days! and the following days i became my self again. The truth color of me slowly showing out, instead of wake up at 6.30 am.. i wake up at 12 pm everyday, sit in front of the screen tv for the whole day and and do nothing but just sit ideally. Obviously i`m not ready to get marry yet.. hehe.."Kalau dulu.. 23 tahun dah pandai masak.. zaman sekarang neh .. tido pon peluk teddy bear lagi" thats what i heard from people. its really true.. we can see the difference between the girls in 1990s and the girls in 2000s. Lets us compare our self and make a consideration.
1. Mostly they are very feminine, wearing kain batik at home and good in cook which if
compare to me, zero marks! my mum will failed me at the first place without testing my cook. unfair right?? but what i do.. she is professional.
2. i don`t know how to wear kain batik and even if i try i don`t think will fit me well
3. They tend to be motherly rather than now days, which are more aggressive and
proactive.
4. And of course 70% of them (according to me) tend to get marry at the age of 23 but only 50% ( according to me also) get marry at the age of 23 bcoz they have just started their life and feel that its too early to get marry ( kawen?? gile ape.. nak bagi anak bini makan batu ke??)

in response to what people have said.. my boyfriend told me that they are feminine and good in cook because they have to be, as they get marry early. But somehow, since people getting marry late.. nobody to hug. So, instead of husband they hug a teddy bear. Its a lame excuse but still acceptable and I bet i had enough. For these reasons i`m not blaming my self to goyang kaki at home while waiting for an employment. The thing is when u have nothing to do and u have no daily routine ur body will react to ur mind state and become lazy. Why??? bcoz we used to live in this circumstances. So no worries if i am labelled as a lazy or anything bcoz.. i know my self =) cheers..

In Batek Sarong: Cantekkk kannn ?? ( Trying to put my face on her)

2009-07-25T13:05:00.009+08:00

BANGUNLAH SAUDARAKU, SEDARLAH KAMU DARI MIMPI

Dengan pembuka kata, Allah yang Maha Pemurah, Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. hamba memula bicara.. semoga apa yang tercatat di dalam warkah hari ini.. menjadi pedoman hidup hamba untuk selamanya. Bila dimana hamba lalai.. disinilah titik permulaaan hamba kembali ke jalan yang diredhaimu. amin..

Setiap manusia tidak akan pernah terlepas daripada melakukan dosa, dari sekelumit sehingga sebesar-besar dosa yang telah dilakukan.. Betapa kecil dan kerdilnya kita di sisi Allah S.W.T.. Namun yang demikian kasih sayang Allah itu sangatla besar.. sehingga tidak dapat untuk kita nyatakan betapa besarnya kasih dan sayang Allah kepada hamba-hambanya.. Setiap hamba yang bertaubat pasti akan menerima keampunan dari-Nya..

riwayat Rasulullah s.a.w. memperdengarkan ayat: "Walladzina idza fa'lahu fahisyatan au dholamu anfusahum dzakarullaha fastagh faru lidzu-nubihim, waman yagh firudzdzunuba illa Allah, walam yashirru ala maa fa'alu wahum ya'lamun (135) Ula'ika jazaa'uhum maghdiratun min robbihim wa jannatun tajri min tahtihal anharu kholidina fiha wani'ma ajrul amilin (136). (Yang bermaksud): "Dan mereka yang bila berbuat kekejian atau zalim terhadap siri sendiri, langsung ingat kepada Allah lalu minta ampun dari dosa mereka, mengerti benar-benar bahawa tiada yang mengampunkan dosa kecuali Allah, dan tidak merahajalela dalam dosanya, sedang mereka mengetahui. Untuk mereka tersedia pengampunan Tuhan dan syurga yang mengalir dari bawahnya beberapa sungai, ekkal mereka didalamnya, sebaik-baik pahala bagi yang beramal." (Surah: Al-Imran 135-136)

Dan kita sebagai manusia tidak berhak untuk menghukum.. tidak berhak untuk membenci dan tidak berhak untuk mencaci.. setiap kejadian di atas muka bumi ini adalah diatas ketentuannya. We dont have the right to judge people because things happened with reason. Kadang-kala bila kita mengenali seseorang yang menzalimi dirinya sendiri, dengan serta-merta perasaan benci datang. Terlintas di fikiran siapakah kita untuk membenci sedangkan dosa yang dilakukan adalah diantara dirinya dan Allah S.W.T. sehinggakan di dalam satu situasi dimana umat manusia alpa akan tanggungjawab mereka sesama umat.

Inilah yang berlaku apabila pesakit2 HIV dewasa yang beragama Islam berlindung di bawah naungan orang yang bukan beragama islam di dalam sebuah gereja. Alangkah sedih dan pilunya.. umat islam kini. Di antara ribuan umat Islam tiada siapapun yang perihatin dan tidak sekalipun mengambil perkara seperti ini menjadi tajuk utama berita dan saya sendiri tidak menyedari bahawa tiada pusat perlindungan untuk pesakit HIV positif yang beragama Islam di Malaysia sehinggalah membaca coretan email daripada Ustaz Muhammad Bin Abdullah. Terima kasih diucapkan kepada ustaz atas keperihatinanya dan atas sifat tanggungjawabnya untuk menyedarkan kita semua daripada terus lalai.

Beginilah keadaan pesakit-pesakit HIV positif bersama ustz. Muhammad Bin Abdullah dan Kak Liza

Sesi ceramah agama di lakukan di dalam sebuah bilik di gereja

Bilik yang menempatkan salah seorang pesakit HIV positif

Di Gereja inilah pesakit- pesakit HIV positif ditempatkan

Seharusnya Kita semua umat Islam haruslah bertindak dengan segera.. melakukan apa yang termampu bukan hanya dengan berkata - kata tapi melakukan apa yang sewajarnya.. salam ukhwah

2009-07-24T17:13:00.009+08:00

HOW TO GET EMPLOYED??

since last 28days, i have attended for 4 interview session with Vads, TI, TM Annex 1, and VDSL. I've been rejected by two of them and still waiting for the rest. The worst i had was with VDSL company, where i failed to answer most of the questions. It was not that difficult but it was me. The funny thing was when he draw me a symbol and i couldn't answer untill he told me that it is diode (ahahahahaha) It always happened to me, i knew the symboll really, just forgot. Grrrrr . Anyway, here are some tips that might be useful to prepare urself before the interview.

First, be 15 min earlier before the interview start
Introduce yourself and get to know the name of interviewer from secretary
Comfort with yourself when u seat and always smiling to make yourself feel good.
Answer each question ardently and stick with your answer
Be confident and honest when you answer each question. If u don't know just say it and don't try to improvise otherwise, u really good in it. (Some interviewer they don't really look whether the answer is wrong or right but how u tackle the quest. given)
Most of the time the interviewer will ask u to introduce yourself and u have to start with your name (a short name easy for them to call u), where u come from, your higher qualification, working experience, hobbies, and your expectations for the job.
The important thing is you must know what you are looking for and describe it well.
From my experience, if your interviewer is Korean and have difficulty to communicate. Don't hesitate to ask them to repeat the question.

Goodluck to everyone =)

Malaysia oh malaysia

2009-07-12T18:57:00.005+08:00

Its been a while since last i wrote here, as usual not much thing to say, just a portion of life mix with another portion and become a history. The history that will remains in everyone and depends how they value that moment.

MJ the King of Pop has passed away at the age of 50, Nana just won 100 thousand dollar and break the records of "Jangan Lupa Lirik", and me sitting here, jobless waiting for miracle to happen, maybe. As i go through the Sun newspaper dated on July 8, 2009, i saw an article about Decision today on use of english in teaching maths and science in the primary school. For me its quite dissappointed when the government have decided to eliminate the system as this is the only chance to provide a platform for children to make an improvement, which is a step forward to the higher level of the education system now. But.. as the gorvenment had make the decision, its probably the best solution to all the problems arose regarding this issue. In mind, Malaysian just not ready to change just for one reason, the mentality of our people are very poor. Pity people at my age, who doesn have the spirit of patriotism in self. Something has to be done and all we need is just time.

p/s - 0320363888 en. shamsul cimb.

Whats ur BIG issues?

2009-01-06T19:57:00.005+08:00

if u are anything like me .. you wont put much ur attention in what comes around you and take things easily. Its a good thing if you are in the top stage of life where you could grabs everything and the attraction will come after you with the high confident level, but some how .. it turns to almost chaotic when you are different person and having an average life . You have to find your own attraction BY THOUGHT and almost of the time you'll left behind. thats it!

A man said " Take the first step in faith, you dont have to see the whole stair case. Just take the first step".

Yes, we don't have to see too far but it doesn't means that things become easy. Sometimes a tiny tiny little thing becomes the vital part in future and we just don't know. The thing is when the opportunity is there, impulsive is there just go and take it, don't wait any longer and don't miss it

awkward silent..

Things happened in my life recently give me some thoughts and the anger in me finnally revealed by writing this. The issue here is "Baju dinner"

bila nak cari baju neh??????

baju ape nak pakai neh????? baju kurung? long dress? or should i call it jubah?? or bla bla bla?

tema Red CaRpet???

ok2... i`m just exaggerate on it, but its still a matter right???

next, i`m going to "surveying" the bajus -bajus today with "mee sedap" to the full satisfaction.

what ever it is now the prior is my resume. haven`t complete yet!!! i`m going to off.

2nd attempt

2008-12-20T15:57:00.002+08:00

urgh.. (sigh...) this is attempt 2 to install mobiwan in my network simulator 2
. after 24 hours , ive found the mobiwan patches for ns 2.33 . but 1 question came up, how could i make it work? how am i going to install this thing to my ns2? what should i do with this thing???? STILL i could not answer those question, i`m exhousted now .. there were many options .. all i need is just to pick one way the easiest way.. but i could not undertand any.. there were nothing and now i m stuck. the latest mobiwan in internet was in 2003. it was MORE THEN 5 Years back.. and we're in 2008 to be 2009 now .. sigh.... why everyone so not interested with MOBIWAN? is it because of its name or What???

i`m exhausted.. .. i need help...

now i`m going to close my laptop and take a rest..

2008-12-19T08:21:00.004+08:00

erkkk~ erkkk~ i was so full and a bit bloated after all the super duper delicious dinner i had last night in T.G.I. haha .. we celebrated the three princess's birthday Shique, Bom and fana and had tremendously fun all together!!!!!. ohh my god i`ve just fart and i can smell the sweet aroma from my belly.. so stink!!! (hehehe.. shhhhhhttt... keep it ur self..). N way let me just show our picture. camera really love us. we just cant stop ;)

HOme SwEEt HoME

2008-11-12T08:01:00.008+08:00

congratulations hani!!! u're free to go now.. good bye.. see u again in a month. dat what am thinking as soon as i crossed the main gate of uniten. i feels relief. no more assignments, no more test, no more quiz, which mean no more pressure and no more tension after all. am happy and couldn`t stop grinning " macam kerang Busuk ". i can hear the rhythm in my head .. very soft rhythm singging to me all the way back to my house. i`m gettin excited.

"Big wheels keep on turning

Carry me home to see my kin

Singing songs about the south-land

I miss 'my home' once again"

and now i`m home. Home SwEEt Home.. i woke up in the morning and the aroma of mum's cook give me the hunger pangs which i always miss. btw, my mum is not really good in cook as she has no much time at home. as what i can remember, our menu is almost the same everyday since both of my little brothers are the most choosey and fussy in foods more than anyone in this world. CUrRy ayam , CurrY iKan, Curry DAGING and all types of currys are most favourable for them. never eat fish except for curry, never eat vege, never eat seafoods, but they love sushi very much and KFC for sure! and sometimes we have masak lemak, tomyam ayam, papprik and soup thats all. I still remember when my brother was a little kid around age 3-4. He call the restaurant as "rumah org" so, every morning he will ask my father to bring him breakfast at "Rumah org".
normally he'll say "baba, nak makan roti canai kat rumah org?" haha.. its funny. And one more thing about him, he loves to play with cam very much!!

i really have no idea what he trying to do or trying to be, but its always make me big lough. i think he is kind of creative person. and have creative mind of thinking. He always make us lough at loud. and both of them always be the happiness in my family.

sometimes he did stupid little things whatever he could to take it as a joke

the funny faces

during hari raya in kampung

the side view of my little brother

blissfull

its holiday special

2008-11-09T07:32:00.006+08:00

i keep grinning my self when everytime i saw my new BirDy Little Blog which are so So SO.. SUPER cute ! haha~ Very SpecIAL ThANKS TOO mY hoUSEMATE sUE, for her contributionS AND efforts to MY Blog. She's so so so great in designing and so what ever with HTML code which i have none, the HTML cOde is just merely on her finger tip and everything she did for me while i was just looking at her, impressing, i guess this is something new for me to explore and and this going to be some kind of much fun for a month break !! now, i`ve start to miss my friends already, Sara, sheilalala~, boom, alin, sharina, dilla, sue, dilla, elya, and alll of them. dilla is already on her way back to TeRengaaGANU, sara will going back home in perak soon after finishing our Vlsi Report while Sheila keep loyal with her FYP and her supervisor. The rest.. still struggling to pack their stuffs. and finally we all going back to home and having great time with family..by the way i already have a to do list starting from tomorrow.. always been thinking for unnecessary things that make my life miserable. happy holiday to all!!!!

to do list

C proggramming (FYP forever)
Otcl language (its all about FYP)
taking my little brother to sport team park
applying for Industrial training
house keeping for sure!

tido la tido

2008-11-05T19:53:00.004+08:00

penatnya hari nie.. esuk pagi kul 9-00 ad satu paper . hopefully everything will be fine.. risau gak kalau tiba2 blank esuk ape la gaknya aku nak bantai nanti. haha~ telur ayam jer la.. dah la nak goreng pun tak reti.. haih... sedih jer bunyi.. sekarang baru nak masuk solat isyak tepat kul 8.00 mlm tapi mata dah separuh mcm penyu. org ckap ape pun dah tak dgr .. satu je yang aku nampak sekarang bantal dan tilam best nya tido~~ alangkah indahnya dunia hanya aku bantal dan tilam. dunia kami bagaikan yang tak berpenghujung .. oh tilam.. oh bantal.. eh lupa pulak selimut!!! kesian kat dia haha~ well ...dah sampai masenye kita berjuang dlm mimpi =P nite~~

my super ex hero

2008-11-04T09:27:00.007+08:00

(sigh...) even dah masuk 3 thn still could not get over him.. nie la masalah yang selalu dihadapi kaum hawa and i beleive that i`m not the only one who has this kind of feeling .. alott more of people outside there having the same prob with me .. be strong !!! dont ever u loose faith.. the monotony of love make u really sick of it.. the pain was almost more than u could bear.. but, in these new century and new generation of peoples.. we have to move forward and always moving forward bcoz once we fall down its difficult to heals the wound.

walau apapun... kamu sentiasa di ingatan.. saya pasti mendoakan kamu.. semoga kamu bahagia

looking for lucky star

2008-10-31T23:22:00.006+08:00

weee hoooo.. taking up my self above the sky~ singing to my heart as no one can hear nothing.. i feel free.. 2 papers down and 2 more left.. hopefully i could improve my results this year.. as i'm walking ahead to MPH .. i heard my heart beat so much, beating faster and faster, its always happening. i try to control by walking slowly.. deep breath for few times.. recite the prayer .. trying to adapt with the so called exam environment.. then when my finger just start to dance on the paper.. suddenly! poop! all black! oh my God, oh God all blank! i`m panic and nervous what i do?? out of 100% , just 50% memory left in my brain. the rest 50% have totally gone~~ gosh! this is really bad!!. haha~ pity me... clumsy me... this happen almost everytime in the final exam~ i could not get over the neverousness in my self. hate it!! but now, i did it!!! i manage to control my self better than anyone does.. some improvement of my self.. i would say that i`m alil bit proud~. VLSI vs POWER E. the next paper need to be focus on. there's alott of work to finish more "Ya Allah, berikanlah aku ketenangan untuk menjawab peperiksaan dgn cemerlang, berikanlah aku kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat dan berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menempuh segala dugaanMu," amin.. i`m still lookin for a lucky star... if anyone have.. pls =P

hingga ke hujung dunia

2008-10-21T17:09:00.007+08:00

Looking at those 2 pics above make me wonder how beautifull my life is, the smiling faces throw away all the nightmares i had.. no one could imagine what ive been through in my childhood and even me always feels scared to talk about it till now, there is so much thing in my head till i could not breath, sometimes i feels that i`m a psycho person, i pretend not to be but that's is something is wrong somewhere..

ive been crying for 22 years .. my broken family, loosing my brother, my personal life, everything.. messed up, bored !! lost my self in the middle of the sea where no one could reach me. i wish i could get back my self to see the smiling faces from the deep heart. sometimes life is so meaningless.. sometimes life coloured the way of someones life.. sometimes life is just nothing.

Hari raya 2008- give me thoughts that i have to take back pieces of memory i've left long time before.. my dad.. i dont noe how i did it.. but for the first time in life i'm hugging my dad with full of love and crying.. and for the first time i`m calling him 'abah' still crying.. I never know my father .. never i know how its feels to have a father.. when i saw someone talking with his father i wonder my self about dad.. its really hard to forgive him after all.. and this year, is the most memorable moment in my life.. i will remember this till the end.. and as for him, i have back all the pieces of memory that i've left long time before..

sTiNgY

2008-08-25T13:19:00.005+08:00

OMG!!! why this thing are really hard to deal with. i have lost my patience right now!!! could not stand anymore.. i`ve been tried to install this so called 'XaNDRoSS ' and 'Ns2' thing for thousand times but why still could not work?? agaGAGAGgaga... i curse u to be a frog 'com -com' then only u will know how powerfull am i.. hehe..by all means!

one year has gone

2008-08-15T17:28:00.007+08:00

i thought it was almost 1 year since i wrote my last blog. hee.. very pemalas one to write anything.. actually there`s nothing to talk about since everything seems fine.. from its cover. Last week , i bought new good brand com-com its not too expensive nor very canggih one but meet my satisfaction with LARGE screen and comes with ORIGINAL windows based, very solid with SILVER drees, 1G high and 162 weight . beautifull interface and webcam provided. isn`t it worth with just 2k? yes =) . computers are now getting cheaper and cheaper over the time.. i stiill remember how expensive was the price fo a single laptop in 5 years back, it cost me almost 4k. urghhhhh~ damn it. no more talk

recently, i found someone`s blog, very interesting to read and awsome. i should not mention his name but he has really great voice. He talks about politic, retaurant , foods, sports and everything that he likes but the way he express is kind of different. simple cool and COOOLLL ~~ huhu.. i also fall in love with one of my freinds blog (sara its u) always make me lough everytime and she love to talk and talk and never lack of ideas. i just could know her better through her blogg sometimes. lalala time is running~ need to stop.

jika dan hanya jika

2008-02-08T18:19:00.000+08:00

jika dan hanya jika aku telah ketemu..
aku pasti bahagia..

jika dan hanya jika aku sempat berdiri sebelum aku terjatuh..
aku pasti gembira..

jika dan hanya jika aku dewasa sebelum aku kecil
tiada siapa yang akan terluka..

jika dan hanya jika aku mampu merubah
ku kan sentiasa tersenyum.

jika dan hanya jika hanyalah dalam bisikan hatiku. kerna aku hanya mampu berbisik tidak mampu untuk meluah.

inspired by.. hehe

"words" does not suits me

2008-02-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

since i kid untill now.. i always heard people said that we have to beleive in Allah, do we really understand how? how is the correct way to show that i`m beleiver? how ? is it by praying? is it in the heart? yes it is but how?? why i dont know the answer? why the question keep coming to my head? if i`m the truth beleiver i`m sure i will know the answer but its not there.. just empty.. even i pray, even i recites the holy Quran, even my parent gave me strong basic religion, but still something is missing in the heart. i know that. and today, after been waiting for so long.. i got the answer finally, i start to understand everything.. everything that happened in my life.. the hard life i had.. its all looks clear in front of me. "beleive in Allah" i know the truth meaning behind of this short phrase now. Beleive that everything is all by Allah.. and i`ll not afraid to anything except Allah.Its not just words for me anymore it brings so much meaning . Either we realy understand or not, thats matter for me. I wanna feel so happy inside, walk freely and smile from my heart. Not just pretending. Thats what i really want in life.. i have opened my heart and accept everything that come to my life.

i`m truely free

2008-02-05T15:58:00.000+08:00

hijab

why hijab?

why i need hijab?

to preserve

my dignity, modesty, integrity. I WEAR IT SO PROUDLY!

manusia bodo aka "lelaki itu"

2008-02-05T14:22:00.000+08:00

damn u man~

gelaran yang paling tepat buat "lelaki itu"

kebenarannya luka ku masih di situ di bawah permukaan

tetapi aku bijak dalam menyembunyikannya

memori hanya membawa aku hidup dalam kebencian

haruskah aku??

patutkah aku??

itu bukanlah jalan hidup yang ku pilih.

kerana aku tau kebencian hanya akan membawa manusia kepada kemusnahan

Allah tidak suka umatnya membenci sesama mahluk

apatah lagi memutuskan persaudaraan

seluruh umat islam adalah saudaraku

siapalah aku untuk menghukum

astagfirullahalazim..

Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.

the people under my judgement

2008-02-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

i was really bored.. i got nothing to do today.. i just wanted to get my mind free and the only thing i could do is talking with someone.. so... that was my interest for the time being. talk talk and talk even i don't know what am i talking about but, i just do it becoz sometimes thing happen without any reasons.. it just happen and after it happened, then only people will start to think the reason behind of it.. i have no life before, i had no topic to talk, no interest with ANYTHING, in short, I'm bored person.. thats the fact yes !proud of it.

By the way i've met a few type of people. I have categorized them to some group

1. They will be a good listener but very poor to express them self
2. some one that has a 'king' in their life and born to be so lucky yet they still not happy.. with the "big fat" crap things
3. Very strong person inside and outside of personality
4. the person who afraid to face the fact that life would never be always"success", but they have no problems at all, even they still can enjoy their life as life goes on.

My first Words

2008-02-02T12:03:00.000+08:00

hi.. my fingers start playing with the keyboard gently and.. this is the first word i got in my mind hehe.. i wish i could have my own little world and there! i got it finally.. this new blog where ican express my thoughts and having little dicussion with my self.. sounds scary isn't it? by the way, i`m not a phsycic thats for sure! starting my day chatting with my best friend used -to- be, was really exciting me.. the sadness will always remain in the heart and keep it by my self .. as my life story always start with saddness, it becomes part of me unseparated and soon turn to be a syndrome. not down syndrome but i called it by name "thesaddersyndom"( kah kah kah.. got it from a tv show). Im so blissfull, after years .. my whole life getting better as me grows up. I was woke up from my beautifull dream, where i found me my self standing in the center of million people , and everyone of them looking at me with wholehearted smiling face. Just imagine how i feel.. talking about dream.. too much words to say .. if a picture can show my brain cells fighting each other to vomit out from my head.. its worth more than thousand words. (sigh...)