weee hoooo.. taking up my self above the sky~ singing to my heart as no one can hear nothing.. i feel free.. 2 papers down and 2 more left.. hopefully i could improve my results this year.. as i'm walking ahead to MPH .. i heard my heart beat so much, beating faster and faster, its always happening. i try to control by walking slowly.. deep breath for few times.. recite the prayer .. trying to adapt with the so called exam environment.. then when my finger just start to dance on the paper.. suddenly! poop! all black! oh my God, oh God all blank! i`m panic and nervous what i do?? out of 100% , just 50% memory left in my brain. the rest 50% have totally gone~~ gosh! this is really bad!!. haha~ pity me... clumsy me... this happen almost everytime in the final exam~ i could not get over the neverousness in my self. hate it!! but now, i did it!!! i manage to control my self better than anyone does.. some improvement of my self.. i would say that i`m alil bit proud~. VLSI vs POWER E. the next paper need to be focus on. there's alott of work to finish more "Ya Allah, berikanlah aku ketenangan untuk menjawab peperiksaan dgn cemerlang, berikanlah aku kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat dan berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menempuh segala dugaanMu," amin.. i`m still lookin for a lucky star... if anyone have.. pls =P
Looking at those 2 pics above make me wonder how beautifull my life is, the smiling faces throw away all the nightmares i had.. no one could imagine what ive been through in my childhood and even me always feels scared to talk about it till now, there is so much thing in my head till i could not breath, sometimes i feels that i`m a psycho person, i pretend not to be but that's is something is wrong somewhere..
ive been crying for 22 years .. my broken family, loosing my brother, my personal life, everything.. messed up, bored !! lost my self in the middle of the sea where no one could reach me. i wish i could get back my self to see the smiling faces from the deep heart. sometimes life is so meaningless.. sometimes life coloured the way of someones life.. sometimes life is just nothing.
Hari raya 2008- give me thoughts that i have to take back pieces of memory i've left long time before.. my dad.. i dont noe how i did it.. but for the first time in life i'm hugging my dad with full of love and crying.. and for the first time i`m calling him 'abah' still crying.. I never know my father .. never i know how its feels to have a father.. when i saw someone talking with his father i wonder my self about dad.. its really hard to forgive him after all.. and this year, is the most memorable moment in my life.. i will remember this till the end.. and as for him, i have back all the pieces of memory that i've left long time before..
