Looking at those 2 pics above make me wonder how beautifull my life is, the smiling faces throw away all the nightmares i had.. no one could imagine what ive been through in my childhood and even me always feels scared to talk about it till now, there is so much thing in my head till i could not breath, sometimes i feels that i`m a psycho person, i pretend not to be but that's is something is wrong somewhere..
ive been crying for 22 years .. my broken family, loosing my brother, my personal life, everything.. messed up, bored !! lost my self in the middle of the sea where no one could reach me. i wish i could get back my self to see the smiling faces from the deep heart. sometimes life is so meaningless.. sometimes life coloured the way of someones life.. sometimes life is just nothing.
Hari raya 2008- give me thoughts that i have to take back pieces of memory i've left long time before.. my dad.. i dont noe how i did it.. but for the first time in life i'm hugging my dad with full of love and crying.. and for the first time i`m calling him 'abah' still crying.. I never know my father .. never i know how its feels to have a father.. when i saw someone talking with his father i wonder my self about dad.. its really hard to forgive him after all.. and this year, is the most memorable moment in my life.. i will remember this till the end.. and as for him, i have back all the pieces of memory that i've left long time before..
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