"words" does not suits me

since i kid untill now.. i always heard people said that we have to beleive in Allah, do we really understand how? how is the correct way to show that i`m beleiver? how ? is it by praying? is it in the heart? yes it is but how?? why i dont know the answer? why the question keep coming to my head? if i`m the truth beleiver i`m sure i will know the answer but its not there.. just empty.. even i pray, even i recites the holy Quran, even my parent gave me strong basic religion, but still something is missing in the heart. i know that. and today, after been waiting for so long.. i got the answer finally, i start to understand everything.. everything that happened in my life.. the hard life i had.. its all looks clear in front of me. "beleive in Allah" i know the truth meaning behind of this short phrase now. Beleive that everything is all by Allah.. and i`ll not afraid to anything except Allah.Its not just words for me anymore it brings so much meaning . Either we realy understand or not, thats matter for me. I wanna feel so happy inside, walk freely and smile from my heart. Not just pretending. Thats what i really want in life.. i have opened my heart and accept everything that come to my life.